I guess I've neglected the poor blog. Been too caught up fighting up cystic fibrosis....most of my health updates now go on CaringBridge
Right now I'm smack dab in the middle of a course of prednisone. Which brings with it lots of fun things like the ability to eat two sonic burgers, tots, half a bag of rice krispie treats, half a bag of salt and vinegar potato chips, a bowl of soup and cornbread and 8 funsize packs of m&ms and still be hungry. Fun times
It also wreaks havoc on my already sometimes fragile emotions which yes makes me a joy to live with. Add to that ELlie has a UTI and she went out to the bathroom no less than 30 times yesterday
Anyway I had a huge thing happen over the weekend. Maybe it was the house full of noise and workers as the kitchen was being redone(like 8am to 5pm!) or perhaps it was the codeine high or maybe 2 trips to home depot in one week was too much fun for me...I don't know but it still amazes me. I stayed by myself for about 2hrs saturday night after it got dark! That has not happened since the rape....2.5 years. It may not happen again but it happened saturday night! I figured 80 pounds of Ellie and a God who's bigger than the boogey man was enough to keep me safe and from freaking out. I've really started trusting God more and yes He is a God of impossibles because I thought I would NEVER stay by myself after dark.
In this 2.5 year journey of healing there has been a lot of tiny steps and some bigger ones but I think this is the biggest by far.
Its what taking hold of the promises of God does in your life. Is it instant? NO! I still have far to go on this journey of healing but man the peace and hope I feel knowing its all in God's hands.
Baby steps.... "The Lord is my strength and my shield"
