thoughts

I've been kind of quiet. Maybe thats because I really don't know what to say.

What is there to say? My lungs are still crappy...all that is keeping me breathing and alive is all my breathing treatments and vest time. I've lost almost 20% of my lung function

I guess that sums up how the fight with CF is going.....

I know I kinda ignored one subject here on my blog.....that would the 2 year anniversary of "it" (sexual assault). Maybe I was hoping if I pretended it never happened that would make it go away. Maybe the stress of CF was getting to me. Whatever it was...its caught up with me now. March 14th...it was better this year because that weekend we were celebrating my beloved pop's 80th birthday.

I've learned so much these last few years. It really is the hard things in life that God uses to teach us. Thanks to the assault and thanks to my downturn in health from CF I've really learned to rely on God. I've learned how great it is to spend time in His word, singing praises to Him and just being in His presence. I've learned how important it is to hold on to the fact that in Christ I am a new creation. And to realize that I will not live one day longer or one day less than what He was planned for me. My days were numbered and ordained before I ever was born.

God has used my trials to shape me into the person He wants me to be. Not that its easy...but life isn't easy.

God is filling the places of shame in my heart with His grace and love, He's taking my fear and giving me peace,.

I've learned to say not that I blessed in spite of my trials but I am blessed because of them. I think of Jesus's parable about who rejoices more over being forgiven the person who has done little or the person who has done much.

We can't know peace until we have lived in turmoil. We don't know how to savor each day if we don't realize what a blessing each day is. We don't enjoy living fearlessly unless we've lived trapped by fear.

I have begun starting my days by making "this is the day the Lord has made,I will rejoice and be glad in it"...my first thought, the first thing I say. Followed by shouting that I belong to God. It makes a huge difference

My life isn't easy...I won't pretend that it is. Being a Christian doesn't mean we don't have troubles....if that was the case I wouldn't be dealing with sexual assault and wouldn't have been born with CF. Its knowing m Saviour has overcome this world, has overcome death.

John 16:33

³³ “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”