Today is just one of those days. maybe its the lack of oxygen to the brain cells or PMS or whatever. Maybe its just a bad day. I don't know
What I do know is my heart hurts. I look back and wish I could get a refund for the last 2.5 years. I'm sick of having to deal with the effects of the actions of someone else (the assault), I'm sick of not being able to control my emotions some days even with the best medication...that usually works but days like this things just spin out of control. I'm sick of lungs that don't work, stomach that hurts, a heart that beats too fast.
I hate myself for taking things out on the people I love. I hate myself for thinking some of the thoughts I think. I hate myself for feeling like a freak.
Its times like this I cling to what I know and not what I feel. Or atleast I try to. Trying to march on. To keep moving forward. To hold on to Jesus
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