Okay so most of you know I am an NCIS NUT! Last night has provoked many thoughts for me
The premise was sort of life the 5 people you meet in heaven. Gibbs was shown what would have happened if he had made different choices at different points in his life and how it would have affected others (eg his wife and daughter were killed by drug dealers while he was overseas as a marine...he was shown if his wife hadn't testified and they hadn't been killed and thus he would have still been a marine and not an NCIS agent that his wife would have been widow) You really had to see it
We make so many choices in our lives and a ot of times we don't know the power of those choices.
What if my parents had married someone other than eachother and thus I wouldn't have been born with CF (or at all technically)? What if I had gotten up early that morning Ellie got hit and could have prevented her from getting out? What if I had never crossed paths with my rapist? What if?
Every single choice, every decision, every coincedence makes us who we are. I've never been healthy so I can't imagine what it would be like to NOT have CF. While I wish I didn't have CF, I am proud to be a member of a wonderful community who support and rally around their own. One in 2500 newborns is born with CF...so the odds were more in favor that I would not be born with it. Say hello to the 25% chance
If I had gotten up with Ellie that morning there is no telling if I could have stopped her. Maybe, Maybe not. But I believe every creature on this earth has a set number of heartbeats and breaths...God knows how long each of us will live and I can only say Ellie's purpose on earth was done. And this new adventure with Abby wouldn't be happening
Cystic Fibrosis has made me tough, it has made me learn to fight with everything I have and I see how precious each breath, each moment is. Every sunrise and sunset, every buttefly and every flower
Do I wish I could go back in time and make a different choice where I didn't cross paths with my rapist? I've wished that almost everyday for almost 3 years. If I could change that, I would. But its made me who I am today.. I am not who I was 3 years ago. God uses even the bad to work good in our lives and I fully believe the good in the rape is that I get the chance to speak out and help other women. I will not stay silent
Its not the couldas,wouldas and shouldas that we should let shape us because we answer what might have happened IF. we have to concentrate on what has happened. We can't change the past but we can work to make the future better
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