scary thought huh?
Seriously...what is it like to be me?
My mind feels like it never cuts itself off. I've been described as super intelligent but that has its drawbacks. I over think. What may seem simple to you I spend hours over analyzing and can't get it off my mind. Thats where the seroquel really helps. It calms my mind. It relieves the over analyzing and constant thought. It also relieves the flashbacks and nightmares
When I'm depressed I feel like all I want to do is lay in bed and yet I can't sleep. I think everyone would be better off without me. When I get that depression I am incapable of being rational. Someone can tell me 10,000 times they love me and I will still think they would be better off without me. I don't want to take care of myself which is dangerous for someone with cystic fibrosis.....when I get really depressed my treatments fall to the wayside
Despite the racing thoughts and overthinking lots of time I have issues getting out what I want to say...even in my journal. I self censor. I am a perfectionist and therefore have a hard time letting myself go and have fun
All the meds I am on help. They really do. And the 7 years of therapy I went through. I am better now and more functional than I have been in years but now I'm having a hard time returning to the "real" world and learning to function
just a peak inside my head
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