its been a rough year

Sometimes I think my life motto should be "if it wasn't for bad luck I'd have no luck at all". Deep down I don't believe in luck but...

I think I'm finally at a turning point. Depression is under control, working on the anxiety. I have a doctor who really cares and won't give up until I'm as close to 100% as possible...and that in turn gives me hope. I'm able to start applying things I learned in therapy since the meds are working.

But really this last year...sexual assualt, worst year my lungs have had in awhile and a pulmonary embolism scare, I've finally become resistent to cipro. My chronic migraines are back. And just to maintain normal I am taking an obscene amount of meds. At this point things can only get better.

I know God has plans and I see things getting better and falling into place. But days like this with migraines etc makes me reflect. I know once I get past all this I will be a stronger person and sometimes you have to walk through the fire to get gold.

And I know that the sexual assault is something that is going to stay with me forever. I think one can deal with it, work through it but ultimately its always a part of you.

I'm trying to make some changes in my life and work through some stuff so I can be the best Bekah possible. And through it all I can see I am blessed...wonderful therapist that I still keep in touch with, wonderful supportive family, wonderful caring doctor, a God whose plans are so much greater than mine (thats the most important!)